60+ Best Monty Python And Holy Grail Quotes Which Will Hurt Your Stomach

Monty Python And Holy Grail Is an British comedic film released in 1975.

The story revolves in England 932 A.D, the King Arthur accompanied by his trusty servant Patsy are seeking Knights to join his Round Table at Camelot. Arthur opposes two guards preoccupied with swallow and argues with a group of constitutional peasants he also challenges a Black Knight who comes apart at the seams and witnesses the outing of a witch before enrolling his first knight known as Bedevere the Wise. Rest other remaining knights follow Sir Galahad the Pure, Sir Lancelot the Brave, and the not-quite-so-brave Sir Robin. Avoiding the singing dancers of Camelot, God inspired Arthur and his Knights to do a quest together for the Holy Grail. The Bridge of Death takes the life of everyone and only Arthur and Bedivere reach the final loaf place of the Holy Grail, only to be curb by old adversaries.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail grossed more than every other British film exhibited in the US in 1975. In the US Monty Python and the Holy Grail was selected as the second-best comedy of all time in the ABCspecial Best in Film: The Greatest Movies of Our Time.

Monty Python And Holy Grail Quotes are most sarcastic quotes which will make your low key day into a cheerful one.

So do enjoy the Best Monty Python And Holy Grail Quotes with a huge smile.

Best Monty Python And Holy Grail Quotes

“O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.”

“O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.”

“Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer!”

“Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!”

“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… WITH… A HERRING!”

“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... WITH... A HERRING!”

“We are the Knights who say… NI.”

“We are the Knights who say... NI.”

“What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

“What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

“One, two, five!”

“One, two, five!”

“Run away!”

“Run away!”

“It’s just a flesh wound.”

“It's just a flesh wound.”

“I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

“I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

“Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.”

“Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.”

“Now go away or I will taunt you a second time.”

"Now go away or I will taunt you a second time."

“Oh,look. There’s some lovely filth over here.”

"Oh,look. There's some lovely filth over here."

“Help, I’m being oppressed. Come and see the violence inherent in the system.”

"Help, I'm being oppressed. Come and see the violence inherent in the system."

“It’s just a scratch. I’ve had worse.”

"It's just a scratch. I've had worse."

“We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune.”

"We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune."

“And after the spanking, the oral sex!”

"And after the spanking, the oral sex!"

“You don’t frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!”

 

“Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!”

 

“You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!”

 

“I’m not quite dead yet!”

 

“She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge … tracts of land.”

 

“Well what is it you want?”

 

“We want A SHRUBBERY!”

 

“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with…a herring!”

 

“We’ll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit’s dynamite.”

 

“You only killed the bride’s father, you know.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Didn’t mean to? You put your sword right through his head.”

“Oh dear… is he all right?”

 

“On second thoughts, let us not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”

 

“He’s not the Messiah – he’s a very naughty boy.”

 

“Alright, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?”

 

“Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?”

“F*** off! ‘Judean People’s Front’?. We’re the People’s Front of Judea!’”

 

“Here’s your nine pence.

I’m not dead!”

 

“No you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a moment.”

 

“Oh don’t be such a baby.”

 

“I’m thirty-seven, I’m not old.”

 

“Well I can’t just call you man.”

 

“You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes—”

 

“Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.”

 

“I’m invincible!”

 

“You’re a looney.”

 

“What makes you think she’s a witch?”

 

“Burn her anyway!”

 

“…and that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped.”

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