Identifying a narcissist does not require any specific narcissistic test. All you need to do is determine the traits of a narcissist and address their problem. You do not require to do any blood tests, scans, or MRIs to call someone a narcissist. And to do that, we are here to help! Below we have made a list of every possible sign of a narcissist that will make it easy for you to identify narcissism! Hang in there to know it all!
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Sign of A Narcissist
A person does not have to possess all the traits together to be a narcissist. By the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, therapists follow a guide and check if the person exhibits signs of narcissism. If the person scores around 55% of the traits below, you can say that person has a narcissistic personality disorder.
So, before you go for a narcissistic test, let us check out every significant sign of a narcissist that determine narcissism:
Feeling of Superiority
One of the most prominent signs of a narcissistic personality disorder is superiority. You shouldn’t confuse yourself with self-confidence when we talk about the feeling of superiority.
You will find a person with this disorder to feel superior, and only then do they get the feeling of being safe. Also, they show that they are the best, most competent, and the most right. The way that they are doing is the most correct and tends to control anyone and everyone.
On the contrary, you will find people with narcissistic personality disorder to feel superior by considering themselves the most upset, ill, wrong, injured, or sick too. Once they do this, they expect you to comfort them with a soft and affectionate concern. If you see any of these traits in anyone around, you can be sure it to be a sign of a narcissist.
Excessive requirement for validation and attention
Another significant indication of narcissistic behavior is they are attention seekers. If someone with this personality disorder is around you in the house, they are sure to talk to you every second minute. They will find out ways and excuses to draw your keen attention towards them. It can for simple things like looking for a jacket, dropping things here and there and many more such activities. All they want is for you to put all your attention and give them importance.
Apart from attention, they also need a constant supply of validation. No matter how affectionate, loving, and caring you are, they can never have enough. It is always best you continuously remind narcissists of the love and feelings you have for them. That is because the requirement for validation and attention is almost like a funnel. You can keep pouring out your words of love, but they are gone in a minute.
Usually, narcissists get this feeling because, in their subconscious mind, they tend to think no one loves them. You will notice them be insecure and possessive about the person they love. So, they try to draw attention and require constant approval from loved ones. That is why narcissists never have enough love, attention, and praise.
Extreme Perfectionist
Are you searching for the traits of a narcissist? Well, you will spot a person with narcissistic behavior from afar if you see they are an extreme perfectionist.
You will notice people with these traits want everything around them to be perfect. Be it events, home décor, writing a letter, or anything they do must be precise and correct.
However, every event in life does not happen correctly and precisely. So, this leaves them with a feeling of dissatisfaction that leads to depression.
Wants to take control
Another prominent sign of a narcissist is they like to take control over everything. You will find them complaining about the way life revolves and with all the unexpected events that occur around them.
Moreover, narcissistic people like to take control of events or any situation to get the appreciation and attention. Also, they tend to imagine situations and place the whereabouts and sayings of another person in their mind. But when the opposite person does not react or say things according to a narcissist’s imagination, it causes depression and other anxiety disorders in them.
So, it is difficult to deal with a narcissistic personality disorder as they tend to interact with their imaginary person and not the real one. It is always best to address the problem and treat the issue to avoid any emotional trauma.
Lacks responsibility
One significant sign of a narcissist is they lack a sense of responsibility. Despite they are always in control over situations and tries to take control over various situations but would not like to face the consequences.
Of course, if things go according to what they want things to be and a narcissist is sure of the results, they would take responsibility.
If a narcissist sees that the series of events are not going according to the way they want it to be, they will blame it on you. Even if it is not you, they will find anyone else to put the blame. All they want is that no one points out a finger on them.
However, you will notice that narcissists usually blame the consequences on the person they love the most. To keep the impression of being a perfectionist, narcissists mostly blame the other person. But they are smart to choose their closest person to avoid any denial from the opposite side.
Lacks the sense of boundaries
You will notice several people tend to cross the boundary of others. But narcissists are unable to determine the proper boundary of where you begin and which is the place they should end. You can compare this behavior of them with a 2-year-old child.
You will find them to believe in the notion that everything around them is theirs. Everyone and every single thing belong to a narcissist alone. For this reason, they tend to lack a sense of boundaries. If you come across a narcissist, you will notice them going far beyond the boundary to achieve anything they demand.
Lacks a sense of empathy
One of the most prominent traits of narcissism is they are unable to show empathy towards others. You will find them to be so engrossed within themselves, which makes them selfish and self-centered. So, they cannot understand the situations others go through or feels. Consequently, they are not able to apologize, feel guilty, or be remorseful over anyone.
In several acute cases, narcissists are also seen not to understand any natural feeling of others. However, they are also unable to fathom their feelings. So, there is no coordination with their behavior, interpretations, and thoughts.
In short, people with narcissistic personality disorder always blame the opposite person or situation for the way they feel. In particular for all the negative feelings they get. And this is another significant reason that makes it almost impossible to deal with or cope up with a narcissistic person.
Perceives comments and jokes as a threat
When you joke with a narcissist, they start to take it personally as an attack. More so, the expressions of another person’s face are often misread and misunderstood by a narcissist.
Narcissists do not perceive the feeling accurately and tend to feel negative. Even you are being sorry or expressing your emotions of love; they misinterpret the situation. You will notice narcissistic people live in denial. They deny that people can be fond or love them, even if you express it to them a thousand times.
Also, they are unable to read a person’s body language or understand if the opposite person is joking or passing negative remarks. So, it would help if you kept a close watch on the way you speak to narcissistic people. You can avoid joking with them to avoid any conflicts.
Lacks emotional reasoning
Have you made a mistake to make your narcissistic friend understand using reasoning and logic? Well, they do not understand what you must be going through. That is because a narcissist is so obsessed within themselves, they are unable to determine your feelings.
You may find your narcissistic partner to say they are believing you and understanding what you might be facing but are not! So, explaining them with any reasoning and logic will go in vain.
Most of the time, narcissists tend to make decisions on how they are feeling. If they wish to buy or do something, they do not consider the opinion of others. And if they are depressed and bored with a person, they will want to move on. When you are around a narcissist, you need to keep on matching up to the pace of their thoughts.
Possesses split personalities
Another significant sign of a narcissist is they have split personalities. At times you will find them to be good or even bad.
In a narcissistic behavior, you will find the person to blame situations on you if they feel negative. But if there are circumstances where the situation is good, they seem to take the credit.
Most of the time, you will find these people to blame situations on you saying that you are not able to fathom their behavior or words. Always remember that when you with a narcissist, things can go great one minute and wrong in the very next.
Narcissism involves extreme situations. More so, people with this disorder do not remember what they say at the last minute. So, you should think many a time before you speak to a person with narcissistic personality disorder.
Constant feeling of anxiety
You will notice people with a narcissistic personality disorder to have a constant feeling of anxiety. At times, you will find them to tell you that something bad is about to happen or they will face a mishap.
In most cases, narcissists express their feelings to the person they love the most. At the same time, they even blame them for all the negative thoughts that are preoccupying their minds.
If you are staying with a narcissistic person, you will hear words of being unsupportive, mentally ill, and selfish. All of these words are being said in narcissism to transfer the anxiety and fear of their loved one.
Once they start transferring their sorrows onto you, they begin to get a better feeling about themselves.
Possesses shame deep within
With all the traits of a narcissist, you know well enough that they live with a notion of being the best. But deep within themselves, they possess a kind of shame, guilt, and fear.
They are in the constant process to remain in the dark and hide from others. More so, they even try to hide from themselves. There is a continuous conflict of all the insecurities and vulnerabilities narcissists go through regularly.
They hide this insecure and vulnerable feeling with the false façade of being the best and perfect. So, it is always best you see if the person around you has any of these signs and treat it by a therapist immediately.
Unable to show their vulnerability
Since you already know that narcissistic people do not understand their own emotions, similarly they cannot express their feelings too.
They are in the continuous process of contradicting themselves and how they are expressing their feelings. So, since they are unable to manage their feelings well, narcissists tend to overlap their relationships.
When they see that the partner, they are with is not entertaining their deeds, they want to shift onto a new person. They do this with the belief that the new partner will understand and shower them with love and affection.
Final Thoughts
Now that you know the traits of a narcissist, identifying them will be easy. So, once you are sure the person you love has a sign of a narcissist, take them to a therapist.
The doctor will give you some techniques and ways to deal with a narcissist and bring in the best in your relationship.